My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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