i barfeds in our rink
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
