Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

but the lizard people decide everything anyway

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS

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(248): View more from Michigan

Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?

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(409): View more from Texas

There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.

(850): View more from Florida

This has already gotten way out of hand

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs

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(604): View more from British Columbia

True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?

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(216): View more from Ohio

I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid

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