YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
