If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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