FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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