Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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