TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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