She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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