Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
