sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
