the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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