I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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