He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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