I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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