I wish I only lived at night.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
