wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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