girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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