that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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