1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His hands were made for my vagina.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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