this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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