the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
