Midget sex pt 2 tonight
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
