I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
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we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
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dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
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