I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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