when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
