I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
