Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
