I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
