Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
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See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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