apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The air was thick with penises
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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