So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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