ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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