I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
