is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
