Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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