We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
