My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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