my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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