Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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