Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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