sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
