??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
