I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
