i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
