the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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