Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
