Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
