u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
