Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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