but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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