It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i think im in europe. pls send help
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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