my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
