and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Someone came in the potted fern
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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