he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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