Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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