It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
