I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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