I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
