Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
