I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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